Sayings from T-Shirts Curated by Nanamimsy
53.7% of all statistics are made up.
AAAAA American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
All generalizations are false…including this one.
Always give 100% unless you’re giving blood.
Ancient orators tended to Babylon.
Can we just admit we may have taken this “anyone can grow up to be president”
thing just a bit too far?
Carpe Noctem.
Decimals have a point.
Department of Redundancy Department.
Despite the cost of living, it still continues to be very popular.
Do not resent growing old. Many people are denied the privilege.
Do you have change for a paradigm?
Dogs have masters, cats have servants.
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap!
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough, thought though.
Eschew Obfuscation!
Every time you make a typo an errorist wins.
Hyphenated, non-hyphenated. That’s irony.
I before E except when eight feisty neighbors seize a surfeit of weighty heifers.
I haven’t lost my mind…I have a backup somewhere.
I may look lazy, but on a molecular level I’m quite busy.
I put the pro in procrastinate.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
I’d grow my own food if I could only find bacon seeds.
I’m going to stop asking “How dumb can you get?”
People seem to be taking it as a challenge!
Insanity is hereditary …you get it from your children.
Instant Human…just add coffee.
Donald Trump IS
a Federal Deficit
MAGAnomics:
Dough for the upper crust and
Crumbs for the rest of us
The “Religious Right”
ISN’T
The Trickle-Down Theory is
ALL WET
The Defense Budget
Leaves the poor defenseless
MAGAnomics:
Safety net for the truly greedy.
Don’t agonize
Organize
I’ve read about the RED scare in the fifties
I’ve heard about WHITE Supremacists
But what is this ORANGE thing doing?
Irony, the opposite of wrinkly.
Romaine calm and carrot on.
Keep clam and proofread.
Let’s eat, Mom/Let’s eat Mom. Punctuation saves lives
Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.
Listen and silent have the same letters. Coincidence?
My glass is empty! QUICK! Call wine one one!
Sarcasm is the mind’s natural defense against stupidity.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
Stupidity is not a crime, therefore you are free to go.
The Past, Present and Future walked into a bar…It was tense.
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
What’s another word for synonym?
When I talk about computers, I make my motherboard.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
With enough thrust, pigs can fly just fine.
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
Someone stole my coffee cup, I’m headed to the police station to look at mugshots.
My son said he didn’t understand cloning, I told him that makes two of us.
Age is not a number. It’s clearly a word.
They said to follow your dreams… so I went back to bed.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
To the thief who stole my glasses:
I will find you, I have contacts.
I put my grandma on speed dial.
I call that Instagram.
I’d love to have a “battle of wits” with you…
but you appear unarmed.
RAISE UNEMPLOYMENT
Among Republicans!
How to end wars?
You declare it, you fight it.
Tax breaks for the rich
Broken promises for the poor.
The Trump solution:
Piety, Privilege and Pollution
Conservatism conserves:
The riches of the rich
Pro-lifers value your worth
Only from conception to birth
Better to be Woke and Proud
Than Weak and Loud
I’m proudly awake and aware
Not loudly fake and unfair